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Meeting Jesus at 4 a.m.

How can I be filled with a heart to serve others over myself?
How can I glorify You with my life today?
How can I know You more?

Well I won't ever doubt that God answers my prayers.  Haha! These were the exact prayers I prayed a few days ago. This week, I have been knocked down to my knees and my head is in a million places on how I need to work through some things but honestly I haven't even had time to think about those things because every night God has put an opportunity in my place that needed immediate action and a call to serve. Yes, I'm tired.  But yes, God has been so present throughout the whole week and filled me with patience, love for others, and being sustained.  

I don't know what it would have been like to hang around with Jesus but if He was here modern day I'd imagine He'd be hanging somewhere like an emergency room.  Pardon my graphic language but a place filled with people with infections, crying out in pain, smelly, vomiting, bloody etc..  In a place of hurting and pain, I was reminded of Jesus' love.  Before I continue, let me preface that my friend had a minor injury late last night and we thought it best to go see a doctor before the morning. But since it was a minor emergency, we got pushed down to the last people on the list to be seen.  So as we entered at 10 p.m. already tired and ready for a quick doctor visit (products of convenience of course) we quickly realized this could be a long wait. As the hours rolled by and 4 a.m. approached, we were told that we couldn't even go in until after 7 a.m. so we thought it best to get a few hours of sleep and my friend would see a doctor in the morning.  

In those moments of the wee morning hours in between hearing the crying and unpleasant sounds when all was momentarily quiet, it was Jesus saying here's some answers to your questions. "Court, you want to know the Gospel..well this is it.  This is where I hang out-with the unclean, with the sick.  You want to know what love is.  This is love, putting aside your selfish wants and sense of entitlement and surrendering your night to Me." 

While I'm not physically sick or unclean, my heart is unclean. I constantly run away from Jesus, my great Physician if you want to put it in spiritual terms. I need healing. I need a clean heart.  My friend is not a Christian and we've had some great spiritual discussions over the last few days. I want her to know love. I want her to know Jesus. And I think she may have got a glimmer of His love last night.  Please don't misinterpret my message to think that I'm saying I'm some wonderful friend or "good person." No honestly, I wanted to say "Figure it out yourself. I'm tired from already being out late the night before serving someone else." But God's sustaining love filled me so that I was able to love someone else and put aside my own agenda. My prayer everyday is how can I glorify You God this day? Oh and He will answer, yes He will.  It won't be pretty most times.  It won't be convenient. But I get to meet Jesus everytime. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. 

Around an hour in when things were still a little funny, I was given a stained blanket and awkwardly tried to find a comfortable position to sleep.  You can only try to find humor in situations like this!

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