If you don't regularly journal, I would highly recommend it. Granted, I process things best by getting them on paper but it's always great to look back and see where you've come from.
I feel that I'm at a crossroads in my life. I'm excited for my future, wherever God might take me and I'm finally able to see the big picture of the last few years.
This crazy adventure began in May 2009 in a dirty San Diego hostel talking to a Swiss man about theology and the meaning of life. That conversation wrecked me. I realized at that point I had been running on self-righteousness and empty words. I was confused and wondering who God was and my relation to Him and what the heck this life was about. I feared telling others that I had questions and doubts. Thank God for good friends. Around this time, I talked with my friend Frick.
Frick had been praying for me and felt God saying a few things to me. I wrote down his exact words. "It will get better. What you're going through now is for a greater good. Even though it seems like the world is going great and nothing can harm them and Christianity may seem unfulfilling and pointless, it's not. You will find contentment and everything in God. The world thinks they have everything when really they have nothing at all. It's going to get really hard before it gets better but boy oh boy that better will be so worth it, better than you've ever seen. God has set you apart. He's going to take you to the messy places, the places no one else wants to go. It will be hard and you will have to trust God at each point, but You will be covered with His presence each day. You're not going to have a comfortable life but it will be one full of joy and trust in God and He will use You in ways you would have never even imagined."
That was 2009. This is 2012. I can say the months after he said that were definitely the hardest months of my life--littered with loneliness, grief, loss, bitterness, and disappointment. But now I can look back and see God's hand at work. He was pruning, disciplining, and developing me into a person that could actually hear His voice and desire to obey. I can't be for certain but I really feel that God is leading me into that "better time" season finally--a season of crazy adventures but one full of trust and joy in Him.
My Prayer: God, my God. You are so big. I don't understand Your ways but I know You are good. You have shown me that You are so faithful. I trust You for my today and for my future. Help me never lose sight of You in serving. Give me pure motives. Fill me with a love for others. Free me from the idols I run to and be my greater good. Keep me abiding. I trust You. Come.
I feel that I'm at a crossroads in my life. I'm excited for my future, wherever God might take me and I'm finally able to see the big picture of the last few years.
This crazy adventure began in May 2009 in a dirty San Diego hostel talking to a Swiss man about theology and the meaning of life. That conversation wrecked me. I realized at that point I had been running on self-righteousness and empty words. I was confused and wondering who God was and my relation to Him and what the heck this life was about. I feared telling others that I had questions and doubts. Thank God for good friends. Around this time, I talked with my friend Frick.
Frick had been praying for me and felt God saying a few things to me. I wrote down his exact words. "It will get better. What you're going through now is for a greater good. Even though it seems like the world is going great and nothing can harm them and Christianity may seem unfulfilling and pointless, it's not. You will find contentment and everything in God. The world thinks they have everything when really they have nothing at all. It's going to get really hard before it gets better but boy oh boy that better will be so worth it, better than you've ever seen. God has set you apart. He's going to take you to the messy places, the places no one else wants to go. It will be hard and you will have to trust God at each point, but You will be covered with His presence each day. You're not going to have a comfortable life but it will be one full of joy and trust in God and He will use You in ways you would have never even imagined."
That was 2009. This is 2012. I can say the months after he said that were definitely the hardest months of my life--littered with loneliness, grief, loss, bitterness, and disappointment. But now I can look back and see God's hand at work. He was pruning, disciplining, and developing me into a person that could actually hear His voice and desire to obey. I can't be for certain but I really feel that God is leading me into that "better time" season finally--a season of crazy adventures but one full of trust and joy in Him.
My Prayer: God, my God. You are so big. I don't understand Your ways but I know You are good. You have shown me that You are so faithful. I trust You for my today and for my future. Help me never lose sight of You in serving. Give me pure motives. Fill me with a love for others. Free me from the idols I run to and be my greater good. Keep me abiding. I trust You. Come.
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